Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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