I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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