i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
