Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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