New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
