Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize