I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
there's paper in my vomit.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
