You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
