Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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