K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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