i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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