Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
