Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
