i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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