You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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