it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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