i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I still have a little drunk in my system
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
