you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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