I think I won the penis lottery.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
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