8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
