I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
