How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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