So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
