My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
