well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
