apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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