Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
