Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
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