It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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