how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
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your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
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Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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