Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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