I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
