Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.