Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.