omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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