I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home