So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
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Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
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You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days