I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"