she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!