i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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