chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
