I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
