is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
