It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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