look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
