did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
