addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
