K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
