i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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