toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
