You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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