he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
