im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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