I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
