How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
