My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
