If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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