we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So much Jack, so little girl.
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