I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize