whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
