I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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