sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
