Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
