Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
