the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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