nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
