I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
