I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
